Welcome back to the Mashup. Edition two. We are officially past the trial run and into a full-blown institution. Last week was a lot. Some of it was great. Some of it was Coleman. Here is the full debrief.
Monday: A Beautiful Day Derailed by One Man The week opened with ideal conditions — good weather, good spirits, and the kind of Monday that almost makes you forget you live in Westwood. Things were going swimmingly until a certain member of the group, who shall remain nameless but whose name rhymes with "Goleman," made the executive decision to take the evening several steps further than any reasonable person would recommend.
Coleman got himself banned from ZBT. The official charge: waking up two members and allegedly making physical contact with them. The unofficial explanation: he simply did not know when to stop. Coleman, we love you. We genuinely do. We just need you to be well. Please be well.
"He simply did not know when to stop. Coleman, we love you. We just need you to be well." Tuesday: The Distinguished Gentlemen Hit the Village By Tuesday, the group had reorganized. Ryan, Mason, Eitan, and Will embarked on what can only be described as a structured tour of Westwood's finest establishments, beginning at Barney's, continuing to Rocco's, and ultimately landing at Q's — the natural terminus of any self-respecting Tuesday. Will had taken edibles. Pool was played. A genuinely good time was had by all, and nobody got banned from anything. A complete success by the standards this week had already established.
Wednesday: Game of Thrones Trivia and the Fifth-Place Finish The team assembled for Game of Thrones trivia under the banner of Tommen's Skydiving, featuring Ryan, Angie, Coleman (reinstated, apparently), JJ, and Mason. The squad fought hard, placed fifth, and just barely missed winning the Hot Wheels car — a prize that, frankly, would have looked incredible in the apartment.
It bears noting that BC, who possesses what sources describe as "immense Game of Thrones knowledge," was absent. His lovely girlfriend had taken him to dinner, which is the most civilized possible reason to miss trivia and also the most devastating. With BC at that table, fifth place becomes first. This is not a debate.
Thursday: Adventure Cooking Escalates, Shots Are Taken Next Door Ryan and Angie opened the evening with what was billed as "adventure cooking" — a charming activity accompanied by a few small glasses of red wine that, in the tradition of all "few small glasses," multiplied. This naturally evolved into a first-floor pregame. By the time the group migrated upstairs, Mason and Eitan had identified sophomores in the neighboring apartment and were conducting themselves accordingly. Shots were shared. The energy was described as "pleasant." The night continued to Jamo's.
At Jamo's, the management made the baffling and frankly offensive decision to serve drinks in smaller cups. This is not okay. This has been noted. It will not be forgotten.
Friday: UCLA Wins the Final Four, Group Retires Early The Bruins advanced. The group watched. The Thursday night's residual effects, however, had made their presence known by morning, and the collective decision was made to treat Friday as a recovery day. Sometimes the right call is going to bed. This was that time.
Saturday: Orange County, A Corgi Beach, and the Long Beach Expansion A significant portion of what insiders are now calling "the retirement home apartment" made the Saturday pilgrimage down to Orange County. Passover dinners were attended. Then came the corgi beach — Huntington, presumably — which by all accounts was an objectively perfect activity. This somehow merged with a Long Beach extravaganza that lasted well past any reasonable hour and involved far too many shots.
Highlights included a round of Shoot the Root, which was described as "delicious," and Caden shooting the dog — meaning the game, not the corgi, though the ambiguity is appreciated. Beer pong was played in the kitchen. Orange things went where orange things should not go. No further comment.
Sunday: The Women Win It All. Mason Puts on a Movie. The UCLA women's basketball team won the National Championship. This is real. This happened. Go Lady Bruins. The occasion was celebrated with the energy it deserved.
The afternoon transitioned into a movie day, curated by the one and only Mason Lee. The Instagram stories posted by various attendees were, by the reporter's own admission, nauseating in the best possible way. It looked like fun. Some unfamiliar faces found their way in, as they always do. The door was open, the couch was full, and Week One of spring quarter officially closed out on a high note.
🏆 Founding Father Award A Major Shoutout to Mason "Marbles" Lee Before we get into what's coming this week, this column has a mandatory and entirely non-negotiable obligation to acknowledge the man behind the curtain. The Westwood Times. The Weekly Mashup. The whole operation. None of it exists without Mason "Marbles" Lee.
Marbles had the vision. Marbles built the site. Marbles looked at a group of guys stumbling between Barney's and Jamo's and said, "this deserves to be documented," and then he went ahead and made it happen. That is journalism. That is legacy. That is a man who understands that history does not write itself — someone has to pull up Claude and make a website about it.
The Mashup is now a living, breathing institution of Westwood social culture, and that is entirely on Mason Lee. We salute you, Marbles. Truly.
📅 Official Schedule Week 2 — What's On the Docket Three items. All mandatory. No excuses accepted.
01 Tonight · Mon Apr 6 NCAA Championship Game Florida vs Houston. The season ends tonight and we are watching it. Get in position early. Snacks are encouraged. Excuses are not. This is not a suggestion — it is a civic duty for anyone who spent last week screaming at a TV about the Final Four.
🚨 Happening Tonight 02 This Weekend Daytime Die / Bottomless Brunch The plan is a daytime drinking situation — either a proper bottomless brunch or a full die, depending on who still has dignity. The Waterfront on Venice Beach is currently the front-runner: it's a day bar, it's on the beach, and it's the kind of place where you arrive at noon with good intentions and leave at sunset with a story. Strongly endorsed by this publication.
📍 Top Pick: The Waterfront, Venice Beach 03 TBD This Week Project Hail Mary — In Theaters Andy Weir's novel is finally on the big screen and the group wants to go. If you have not read the book, do not worry about it — just show up ready to be emotionally affected by a man alone in space. Showtimes to be coordinated. This one requires a headcount so speak up now or forever hold your peace.
🎬 Coordinate your schedule now 💬 Ideas? Feedback? Complaints About Jamo's Cup Sizes? The Mashup is a group effort and we want to hear from the members. Got a venue you want to try? An activity you've been sitting on? A hot take about where we should spend Saturday? Now is your moment. Drop your ideas and they may very well appear in next week's docket. The floor is open. Don't be shy. Yes, Coleman, you too.
That is Week One in the books and Week Two officially on the radar. Stay locked in. Stay hydrated. And Coleman — please, for all of us — stay inside your comfort zone on Monday nights.
— The Westwood Times Staff